Pranks A Lot transcript

Prologue: The New Theme Intro
Marge and Homer are at the grand piano in the living room.

Marge: [Playing On Piano Keys] Lisa never tells big lies

Homer: Krusty's out with banana cream pies

Marge: Bart's hanging out with the guys

Homer: but this time

it's a big mission

Bart: we're on a journey

Lisa: it's quite fantastic

Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa (except Maggie): it's The Grand Adventures of The Simpson Family.

Scene 1: Springfield Elementary School/the assembly
Carol: “Come on, keep it moving, the sooner we get in, the sooner we get out.”

Bart and Milhouse: Bwah ha, ha, ha, ha!

Milhouse: “Man, yooFool.com shows the best pranks, this 1 got the highly coveted Platinum Raspberry Award last year!”

Bart: “Outstanding stuff, for sure…….but I can do better.”

Bart, Milhouse and the other students go into the auditorium for the assembly…….

Milhouse: “So when will you submit a prank to yooFool? I mean, you know…pranks are what you do best.”

Bart: “Funny you should ask that, Milhouse old bean……….”

Bart and Milhouse walk around looking for their seats………..

Bart: “In this backpack is enough to win me a giant Platinum Raspberry…….”

Milhouse: “What are you gonna do?”

Bart and Milhouse sit right down in their seats………..

Bart: “Keep your shirt on and make sure the video camera in your phone is fully juiced……….”

Milhouse: “Check!”

Armin walks around over to the podium on the auditorium stage………….and everybody else begins going crazy by throwing Frisbees and paper airplanes and all sorts of flying objects around the auditorium………

Armin: “Settle down, everybody, today’s special assembly is in response to a growing number of complaints we’ve received from parents, teachers and law enforcement officers about rude behavior and pranks performed by members of our……..nay, my student body.”

Nelson: “Some 1 drew a chalk outline around your student body years ago, Skinner!”

Armin: “Thank you for so deftly illustrating the problem, Nelson………”

Other students: Heh, heh, heh!

Nelson: “Did he call me deaf?”

Jimbo: “What?”

Armin: “Now, if you will all quiet down and take your seats, we have with us today a national expert on all things concerning etiquette and good behavior….Dr. Bonnie Jean Mulligan.”

Dolph: “Boo!”

Kearney: “Ugh!”

Jimbo: “Boo!”

Nelson: “Go back to Italy!”

Other Girl Student: [Loud 4 Finger Whistle]

Bonnie: “Thank you, Principal Tamzarian, and good morning, every 1, I’m here today to help you all become more polite, kinder members of society.”

Bonnie: “The 1st issue we will address is rumors…….”

Bart: [Whispering] “She wired the seats to deliver electric shocks unless we shut up………pass it on.”

[Bzz] [Bzzzzz] [Bzzz] [Bzz] [Bzz] [Bzz] [Bzzz] [Bzz]

Bonnie: “How quiet the room is suddenly………what a marvelous group of children you have here, Principal Tamzarian!”

Armin: [Thinking] “Eerily quiet…just like in ‘Nam, right before an attack…Bart’s behind this, no doubt!”

Bonnie: “We will also address pranks, and how they can lead to hurt feelings and humiliation.”

Cut to Bart whispering to Milhouse……….

Bart: [Whispering] “She just said the magic word………start filming.”

Armin: [Thinking] “I need to follow that little--”

Bonnie: “Leaving us without a word, Principal Tamzarian?”

Armin: “No!”

Bonnie: “That’s not a good example to set.”

Armin: [Clears Throat] “No, I suppose it’s not.”

Bonnie: “Now, a gentleman knows that the polite way to take his leave is to wait for a lull in the conversation.”

Armin: [Thinking] “Then shut up, you old bat!”

Cut to Bart in the school hallways………….

Bonnie (off screen): “And gracefully beg the pardon of all in the room.”

Bart: [Thinking] “Oh man, I almost feel sorry for Armin.”

Armin: [Voice Off Screen] “I [Choke] beg your pardon……..”

Bart: “Nope, not sorry, because that’s just too pathetic.”

Bonnie: “And then he thanks his host and hostess…”

Bart: [Thinking] “Maybe he’ll thank me for putting him outta his misery.”

Bonnie (off screen]): “Which he will do again formally with a handwritten thank-you-note.”

Bart: [Thinking] “Stink bomb…whoopee cushion…cord…banana…and a bucket filled with--”

Martin (off screen): “You there!”

Martin: “What are you doing?”

Bart: “Eat my shorts, Martin!”

Bart: “On 2nd thought, eat this banana instead.”

Martin: “Why?”

Bart: “I’m not hungry, and I need the peel.”

Bonnie: “Rather than with ballpoint pen, the note is best written with quill and ink…”

Armin: [Thinking] “Quiet…too quiet…my senses have never felt keener!”

Armin: [Sniffing] “Chalmers…..Bart…whoopee cushion…stink bomb….and a bucket filled with…”

Armin: “Chocolate pudding!”

Armin gets into his action mode……..

Armin: “Must…….capture………boy…………..before……it’s too--”

Armin slips on the banana peel……..

Armin: “WHOAAAAAAAA!!”

Armin slides right into Dr. Mulligan………

Armin: “Oof!”

Bonnie lands right on the whoopee cushion………

[BLAPPP]

Then lets off the stink bomb……..

[PSSSHHH!!]

[Yoink!]

The bucket of chocolate pudding dumps all over Bonnie’s head and shoulders……..

[SPLAAATT!!]

[Crickets Chirping In Distance]

All Students: [Laughing In Unison]

All Students: [In Unison] “YAY!”

Sherri: “Wow!”

Terri: “Kudos!”

Ralph: “Ha!”

Bart: “My peeps, thank you, thank you!”

Cut to Milhouse in the auditorium seats………..

Milhouse: “Got it, Bart, best prank ever!”

Cut to Bart, Armin and Bonnie in the auditorium onstage……

Armin: “Murder…mitigating circumstances…5 to 15…totally worth it.”

Richard: “Awesome!”

Lewis: “Yay, Bart!”

All Students: [In Unison] Ha, ha, ha, ha!”

Gary: “Armin, it’s a good thing I take out extra liability insurance for your assemblies or the entire distract would be flat broke…you 3 in Tamzarian’s office…pronto.”

Meanwhile back in the school hallways by the door to Armin’s office……….

Nelson: “Milhouse, you’re a dink, but as long as you and Bart are pulling off pranks of this quality, you’re all right!”

Bart steps right outta Armin’s office……..

Milhouse: “Bart, you’re alive!”

Bart: “Naturally…and I’m suspended for 3 days.”

Nelson: “Lucky dog….”

Milhouse: “Look, I posted the video to yooFool 40 minutes ago, and it’s already got 31,592 views…you’re a hit!”

Nelson: “Most impressive, Man.”

Jimbo: “Yeah, what he said.”

Bart: “Look, guys, I want that Platinum Raspberry Award…I wanna shake hands with all the best pranksters of our time, checking 1st, of course, for joy buzzers.”

Bart: “Go home and spread the word…send the link to my prank on yooFool to every 1 you know…make it go viral!”

All 4 Young Boys: [In Unison] “Vi-ral…Vi-ral…Vi-ral…Vi-ral!”

Armin peeks through his office door…………

Armin: “What now…“viral?” do they mean germ warfare?!?”

Fade to a black screen………
Fox Network Announcer: “Don't go away, 'cause The Simpsons…will be right back…right after these commercial breaks.”

Commercial Break # 1

End of the 1st television commercial………..

Commercial Break # 2 . Fox Network Announcer: “And now, back to The Simpsons, right here, on Fox Network……..”

Scene 2: The Simpsons’ house/Bart’s bedroom
Bart: (staring at his portable computer screen on his bed) “Cool, 14,908,532 hits…an all-time yooFool record…I’m gonna win that Platinum Raspberry!”

[Ping!]

Bart: “Another e-mail…congratulations, no doubt…but--what? it’s from the administrator at yooFool!”

Bart: [Reading The E-Mail] Best prank ever. For now, anyway. Congratulations, punk…your prank scored the most hits of any post yet, so you are cordially invited

to this year’s Platinum Raspberry Award ceremony in Capital City. Our people will pick you up tomorrow after school. Yours Truly, Idle Hans

Bart: “I did it…I did it…I’m getting the Platinum Raspberry…Capital City, here I come!”

Lisa enters Bart’s bedroom……..

Lisa: “It’s a shame to see simple assault rewarded like it was a good thing…”

Lisa sits right down on Bart’s bed……

Lisa: “And by ‘assault’ I mean, my face hurts from laughing so hard!”

Bart + Lisa: [In Unison] Bwah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Cut to Bart, Milhouse, Nelson, Jimbo and a few other children outside by the limousine………

Nelson: “Wow…a limousine!”

Bart: “Take a good look, everybody…I]’m king of the world!”

Bart steps right into the limousine……..

Bart: “This is so cool…….”

Bart: [Thinking] “All the way to Capital City, and neither 1 of those jokers has said a word….maybe yooFool hired mimes by mistake.”

Later at the 5th Annual YooFool.Com Awards……….

Bart: [Thinking] “Wow, I’ve made it…the big time…now if only I could figure out a way to make money from my genius.”

Bart is now walking around on the red carpet…………

Fan Club Member # 1: “Awesome prank, Bart!”

Fan Club Member # 2: “Laughed my head off, man!”

Meanwhile….inside the award ceremony theater………..

Idle Hans: “And the winner is…Bart Simpson for ‘What’s That Smell?’!”

Bart: [Thinking] “Oh, man, this is the best moment of my entire life!”

Bart runs over to a comedy king’s chair………

Idle Hans: “Before we present the award, please be seated for a special treat, courtesy of your 2 escorts.”

Bart sits right down in the comedy king’s chair……..

Bart: “No problemo…lay it on me!”

Bart struggles to move around………but he can’t.

Bart: “Wha--?!? hey…I can’t move…my clothes are glued to the seat!”

[ROARRRRRR!!]

Bart: “Huh?!?

Bart: “WHOAAAA!!”

Bart: “'Hey…what’s the big idea?!? lemme down'!”

Idle Hans: “The only way down is to jump onto this big…uh…pillow!”

Bart: “But my clothes are stuck to the throne!”

Idle Hans: “Then get outta them and jump…come on, big shot!”

Crowd: [Chanting In Unison] “Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump!”

Bart: [Thinking] “Don’t wanna look chicken…and the longer I take to do this, the worse it looks…..they sure make you work for that award!”

Bart takes off his t-shirt, blue shorts and sneakers………..

Bart: “Here goes nothin’!”

Bart jumps off the comedy king’s chair, pinches his nose……and jumps right on the giant whoopee cushion.

[BLPPLBLLAAATT!!]

Chocolate pudding gets all over Bart’s head and shoulders…….

[SPLAATT!!]

Crowd: [Laughing In Unison] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Bart: “Very funny……..”

[PLOOP!]

[SPLUTT!]

Crowd: [Laughing In Unison Again] Ha, ha, ha, ha!”

Bart: "Alright, alright...I get it...the tables are turned...gimme a hand, will ya?"

[BZZZZZZZZZ!]

Crowd: [Still Laughing In Unison] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

[PLOOMP!!]

Bart: “Okay, just give me the Platinum Raspberry and let me go home.”

Idle Hans: “Sorry, Bart…but this prank was viewed by 1 person more than your video...which means the Platinum Raspberry Award goes to…”

The 2 mimes reveal to be Principal Skinner and Dr. Mulligan in disguise………..

Idle Hans: [Voice Off Screen] “Seymour Skinner and Bonnie Jean Mulligan!”

Crowd: [Laughing In Unison] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!”

Bart: “Oh, man…this is the worst moment of my entire life.”

Cut to Nelson looking at Milhouse’s electronic device……..and giving Milhouse a powerful wedgie.

Nelson: “Haw, haw!”

Milhouse: “Hey, that’s mine…give it back!”

Fade to another black screen………

Voice Cast Members Credits
Nancy Cartwright as Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum and Kearney Zzyzwich (voices)

Pamela Hayden as Milhouse Van Houten, Richard and Lewis (voices)

Russi Taylor as Sherri, Terri, Üter Zörker, and Martin Prince (voices)

Tress MacNeille as Jimbo Jones and Dolph Starbeam (voices)

Harry Shearer as Armin Tamzarian (voice)

Sofia Vergera as Carol Berrera (voice)

Hank Azaria as Gary Chalmers (voice)

Yeardley Smith as Lisa Simpson (voice)

Special Guest Voice Credits
Estelle Harris as Bonnie Mulligan (guest voice)

John Cena as Idle Hans (guest voice)