Sir Topham Hatt Sends Star-Lord to His Shed

Transcript

 * Star-Lord: So I guess this could all be mine someday.


 * Gamora: Rocket? Rocket, are you there? (no call but static on a caller while she tries to get better signal, Star-Lord touches her) What are you doing, Peter?
 * Star-Lord: Dance with me.
 * Gamora: I'm not going to dance with you.
 * Star-Lord: This is Sam Cooke, one of the greatest earth singers of all time.
 * (Star-Lord and Gamora are dancing)
 * Star-Lord: Drax thinks you're not a dancer.
 * Gamora: If you ever tell anyone about this, I will kill you.
 * Star-Lord: When are we gonna do something about this unspoken thing between us?
 * Gamora: What unspoken thing?
 * Star-Lord: This Cheers, Sam and Diane, a guy and a girl on a TV show who dig each other but never say it because if they do, the ratings would go down sort of thing.
 * Gamora: There's no unspoken thing.
 * Star-Lord: Well, it's a catch-22 because if you said it, then it would be spoken and you would be a liar. So, by not saying it you are telling the truth and admitting that there is.
 * Gamora: No, that's not what I... (they stop dancing) What we should be discussing right now is something about this place. It doesn't feel right.
 * Star-Lord: What are you talking about? You're the one who wanted me to come here!
 * Gamora: That girl Mantis; she's afraid of something. Star-Lord: Why are you trying to take this away from me?
 * Gamora: I'm not trying.
 * Star-Lord: He's my father. He's blood. Gamora: You have blood on Earth and you never wanted to return there.
 * Star-Lord: Again, you made me come here! And Earth is the place where my mother died right in front of me.
 * Gamora: No, it's because that place is real, and this is a fantasy.
 * Star-Lord: This is real! I'm only half human, remember? Gamora: That's the half I'm worried about.
 * Star-Lord: Oh, I get it. You're jealous because I'm part-god, and you like when I'm the weak one.
 * Gamora: You were insufferable to begin with. I haven't been able to reach Rocket. I'm gonna go outside and I'm gonna try and get a signal.
 * Star-Lord: You know what? This is not Cheers after all! This is whatever the show is where one person is willing to open themselves up to new possibility, and the other person is a jerk who doesn't trust anybody! It's a show that doesn't exist. That's why it would get zero ratings!
 * Gamora: I don't know what Cheers is!
 * Star-Lord: I finally found my family. Don't you understand that?
 * Gamora: I thought you already had. I am getting a lot ratings!
 * Star-Lord: NO YOU ARE NOT!!!! You're getting zero ratings! RIGHT NOW!!!!
 * Thomas: Don't listen to him!
 * Star-Lord: (In Homer's voice) WHY YOU LITTLE?!?
 * Sir Topham Hatt: (furious) STAR-LORD THE GALAXY GUARDIAN!!!!!!!
 * Star-Lord: Uh-oh.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: (furious) What are you playing at now?! I thought you could learn to be more responsible if I sent you to work here.
 * Star-Lord: I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!! You hear me?! DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Well, what have you done?\
 * Star-Lord: Look, Gamora told me that he understands what Cheers is. She refused to dance with me and this isn't Cheers right now. SHE IS GETTING ZERO RATINGS! OKAY?!
 * Gamora: (Irritated) I SAID, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT CHEERS IS!!!!
 * Star-Lord: (growling with anger, he punches him with rage and yells at him) I don't care! (yelling angrilly) YOU'RE GETTING ZERO RATINGS FOR CHEERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Okay, well then, how would you all explain? THIS?!
 * Star-Lord: OK... so maybe I told Gamora that this wasn't Cheers, so she knows what it's like to her ratings for zero ratings. But the truth is, sir, She argued with me all the time.
 * Gamora: OH STAR-LORD...
 * Star-Lord: (In Benson's voice) YOU'RE FIRED!!!! Besides, Sir Topham Hatt. It's all Gamora's fault! I...
 * Sir Topham Hatt: (still furious, refuses to listen) No, Star-Lord! I've had quite enough of your excuses. Go to your shed, IMMEDIATELY! And you can stay there for the rest of the afternoon, and everyone else can get back to work.
 * Star-Lord: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHH!!!!!!! (He tackles Gamora)
 * Gamora: YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * Star-Lord: ONLY BECAUSE I DON'T WANT HAVE CHEERS FOR ZERO RATINGS!!!!!
 * Sir Topham Hatt: I told you to go to your shed!
 * Star-Lord: No, Sir Topham Hatt. I had enough of those punishments.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: HOW DARE YOU TALK BACK TO ME LIKE THAT?!?
 * Star-Lord: How dare you accuse me like a man without evidence?!
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Star-Lord, your time with your superpowers in the galaxy is up. You shall return to the shed immediately.
 * Star-Lord: (Sadly) Oh, sir. Give me another chance. One chance.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: After yelling at me, Thomas and Gamora twice you’re nothing but a guardian. And I cannot accept that on my railway!
 * Thomas the Tank Engine: And by the way, you should’ve known that you can never argue with Gamora and never tell him that this is not Cheers for zero ratings. Huge mistake in your part!
 * (Star-Lord and the other guardians sadly leave)
 * Thomas: I’m sorry sir. I have to protect Gamora from his Star-Lord. I...
 * Sir Topham Hatt: (kindly) Thomas. There is nothing to me sorry about. I’m proud of you. Gamora had told me everything. And I know that you did your best to stop that guy from fighting Gamora.
 * Thomas: But I wasn’t quick enough to protect myself Sir.
 * Sir Topham Hatt: Don’t worry about it Thomas. My Engines are more important then their own protection. And you Thomas are my number one.
 * Thomas: Proudly indeed.