Bully for Hamton transcript

Prologue: The Theme Tune intro
[All-New Tiny Toon Adventures Theme Music In Background]

Buster: We’re lucky we’re not confessin’

our show’s now back in session

I’ve always learned my lesson

Babs: I’m having lots of fun

Plucky: I’m filled with elation, I’m back on television

Shirley: for the next incarnation, I’m not calling up a nun

Professor Daffy: welcome back to ACME Looniversity for another school year

Buster: there's a test

Babs: no more rest

Plucky: I’m not living in fear

Buster, Babs and other Tiny Toons gang members: we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little looney, it’s All-New Tiny Toon Adventures and we’re number 1

Buster and Babs: now the show has begun……

Buster and Babs' introduction
Buster: "Hiya, fellow toonsters, I'm Buster Bunny,"

Babs: "and I'm Babs Bunny."

Buster and Babs: "No relations."

Buster: "Here's our episode of when Hamton had to face the ACME Looniversity bully, Edward Elephant."

Scene 1: The ACME Looniversity hallways
The scene cuts to Professor Bugs' classroom

Brian: [Gulps Nervously In Fear]

Brian walks around and finds his Duck Dodgers pencil box.

Brian: “My Duck Dodgers pencil box, I couldn’t leave without this 1.”

[Loud Stomping Sounds]

Brian: “Oh no, not again!”

Brian runs round the ACME Looniversity hallways in fear.

Edward (off screen): “Beaver!”

Brian: [In Fear] “E-Edward?!?”

Edward shows up in the ACME Looniversity hallways.

Edward: “Where do you think you’re going, Beaver?!?”

Brian: [In Fear] “I’m……I’m……I’m getting outta here!”

Brian runs around outta the ACME Looniversity building in fear.

[Brian Screaming In Fear]

Edward: “Get back here, you pathetic little dorkinator!”

[ACME Looniversity Students Gasp In Shock]

Buster: “Run away for your entire life, Brian, run away for your entire life!”

Babs: “Keep running, Leroy, keep running!”

Harold Beaver: “Run away for your entire life, Brian!”

Brian: [In Fear] “Dad, Dad, begin the motor!”

Brian gets into the red moving van.

Brian: “Step on it, Dad!”

Edward: “Get back here, Joker!”

Brian: “So long, Edward, I’m moving far away and nobody knows where I’m going!”

Brian: [Laughing Uncontrollably]

Brian: “I’m free at last, free at last!”

Edward: “Noooooooooooooooooooooo!”

Buster: “Well, you guys, there goes Brian.”

Babs: “Wow, he put up with being Edward’s punching bag for an entire year, that’s gotta be 1 world record.”

Plucky: "Yesterday afternoon, he gave Foulmouth an atomic wedgie while outta school."

Shirley: "Like, yeah right, I know."

Foulmouth: “Yeah right, but you know exactly what that means."

Fifi: “Edward weel be looking for a new veecteem!”

Buster: "Let's scatter!"

Buster, Babs, Plucky, Hamton and the rest of the ACME Looniversity students scatter around in fear and hide in their hiding places.

Edward: “Come outta here, you little fraidy-cats!"

Edward: “Isn’t 1 of you little maniacs brave enough to stand up to me?!? even 1 of you dorkinators?!?”

[Toilet Flushing]

Hamton walks around outta the young men’s lavatory.

Hamton: “Hey, where’d everybody go?”

Edward: “Hey, you!”

Hamton: “Me?”

Edward: “What’s your name, little piglet?”

Hamton: [In Fear] “Hamton Pig, tough elephant dude.”

Edward: “I don’t like you, Pig.”

Hamton: “Well, Edward, I bet you would if you got to know me better.”

Edward grabs Hamton by his shoulders.

Hamton: “Whoa!”

Hamton: “A lot of critters like me, well, maybe not a lot of them, but some of them like me.”

Edward takes Hamton over to the empty trash can and opens the trash can lid.

Hamton: [In Fear] “No, please, Edward, don’t do this to me, I’m a real nice pig.”

Edward: “Oh, I’m not a nice dude, Pig, I’m not a nice dude and I don’t like you, which means from now on, whenever I see your pale pig face, I’m sticking to where it belongs (Edward stuffs Hamton right into the empty trash can) right in here.”

Edward puts the trash can lid back on the empty trash can.

Edward: “Any questions, Pig?”

Hamton: [Inside Empty Trash Can] “Uh, not right now, Edward.”

Edward: “Good, see you tomorrow afternoon, Trash Pig.”

Edward: [Laughing Sinisterly]

Buster, Babs, Plucky, Shirley, Fifi, Fowlmouth, Furrball, Calamity and Li'l Beeper arrive.

Buster: “Hamton, are you alright?”

Hamton: “I think so, Buster.”

Babs: “Man, that Edward's such a jerkinator!”

Shirley: “Yeah right, somebody should like, teach him a very important lesson!”

They stare right at Shirley.

Shirley: “Oh, like, not me, but somebody.”

Hamton: “Oh, this is terrible, you guys, from now on, I’m gonna be picked on by the biggest meanest elephant on the ACME Looniversity courtyard, it’s all because I went to the young men’s lavatory at the wrong time.”

Buster: “Look, Hamton, I say Edward doesn’t pick on other students when they’re with their good friends.”

Fifi: “Buster ees right, zere ees a lot of safety een nombres."

Plucky: “Well, Hamton, if we stay closer to you, you should be alright.”

Hamton: “Well, yeah right, Plucky, but how close can you stick together as always?”

Meanwhile………

[School Bell Ringing]

[Toilet Flushing Again]

Hamton: “Hey look, I found a dolphin head quarter.”

Hamton: “Hey, wait 1 single minute, there’s no such thing as a dolphin head quarter.”

Edward’s right hand grabs Hamton’s right shoulder.

Hamton: [In Fear] “Uh oh, here we go again.”

Edward: “Hey, Pig, do you know what time it is?

Hamton: [In Fear] “Uh, 2:39?”

Edward: “No, Pig, empty trash can time.”

Edward puts Hamton into another empty trash can.

Foulmouth: “Hamton, are you alright?”

Hamton hangs his head down in fear.

Buster: “Look, Hamton, you gotta stick with all of us.”

Hamton: “Oh, it’s no use, Buster, I can’t stick around with you guys every single minute in my entire life, I’m doomed, doomed.”

Babs: “Oh yeah?!? well I say you cream the jerkinator!”

Shirley: “Yeah right, Hamton couldn’t like, cream bananas and blueberries.”

Furrball: “Well, Hamton, you can always tell a teacher or a principal.”

Plucky: “Yeah right, in the hands of a mature grownup, the entire situation can be resolved with complete desgression indelgicy.”

Meanwhile with Professor Daffy, Edward, Hamton and Marcia Martian……

Professor Daffy: "Edward, what do you think you’re doing?!?”

Edward: “Nothing, Professor Daffy.”

Professor Daffy: “Yeah right, but let me tell you something, young elephant, if I ever catch you bothering this student or any other student on the ACME Looniversity courtyard, I’ll haul your behind right down to Principal Taz's office faster than you can say the word detention, you got it?!?”

Edward: “Yes, Professor Daffy, I got it.”

Professor Daffy: “Good point.”

Professor Daffy leaves to go back inside.

Edward tosses Hamton right back into the empty trash can.

Edward: “And if you ever tell a teacher or school principal on me again, I’ll pound on you so hard, your clothes will hurt.”

Buster, Babs, Plucky, Shirley, Fifi, Fowlmouth, Furrball, Calamity and Li'l Beeper arrive and get Hamton outta the empty trash can.

Professor Bugs' classroom
Professor Bugs: "Good luck durin', recess, students."

Buster, Babs, Plucky and the others (except for Hamton) walk right out on their way to the ACME Looniversity cafeteria lunch room.

Plucky: "Say, aren't you coming along, Hamton?"

Hamton: "I'll catch up with you guys later on, I gotta take good care of the class guinea pig."

Buster: "But, Hamton, it's alright to be terrified of Edward, we're all terrified of him."

Hamton: "But he's not picking on any of you guys, he's picking on me, if I go out there, it's still gonna be empty trash can time."

Babs: "Unless of course you went out there and Edward couldn't see you."

Hamton: "What exactly do you guys mean by that?"

Back at the ACME Looniversity playground
Edward: "Where's that measly little pig right now?"

Vision Goggles: "Shirley the Loon, Fowlmouth, Furrball, Sweetie Bird, Old Pig playing tetherball."

Edward: "Old Pig playing tetherball?"

Hamton/Old Pig is playing tetherball with Buster, Babs and Plucky.

Edward comes right up to where Hamton/Old Pig is standing.

Hamton/Old Pig: "Don't mind me, I'm just a very old pig, a very old pig who plays tetherball."

Edward puts Hamton in the empty trash can again.

Hamton: "A little bit of help here?"

Meanwhile on the golden bench.......

Hamton: "Maybe I can get a plastic surgery and see if my dad can get transfered here,