The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A ShapeTales Movie

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A ShapeTales Movie is the second ShapeTales feature film.

Plot
The film opens sometime in the late 17th century with two pirate ships fighting. The prince, Alexander of Monterria, is captured by Robert the Terrible, his ruthless uncle. The other pirates search the ship for the princess, Eloise, but miss her hiding spot and leave. When Eloise and her butler Willory emerge, she sends a device that her father made, a "Helpseeker," to find heroes to save Alexander. It evades the pirates on the ship and jumps into the sea.

The film jumps to the present where best friends George, Sedgewick, and Elliot are working at a pirate-themed dinner theater. Sedgewick, who is very lazy, has invented a remote-controlled toy truck with a claw arm to help him do things he doesn't feel like doing - though when his girlfriend Ellen asks him to get her some barbecue sauce, it is out of range of his toy and he refuses to make the effort himself. Elliot has a list of things he's afraid of, and when his girlfriend Bernadette asks him to get the barbecue sauce, he says the back room is dark and therefore "on his list." George, who lacks self-respect, does what everyone tells him; his children, George Jr and Lucy, idolize the star of the show, Sir Frederick and he is worried that he does not impress his kids.

Elliot, Sedgewick, and George want to be seen as heroes by their loved ones, but since they're only cabin boys, they think that their dream is unattainable. After the show, while they are cleaning up, an old blind man appears out of nowhere, prophesying that an adventure awaits for them and that "the stage is set for the heroes at hand." Elliot thinks this means that if they all audition, they'll be cast in the show. They audition but it backfires and messed up half of the restaurant; as a result they are fired and thrown into the alley, where they find the Helpseeker and are teleported to the 17th century.

Meeting Eloise and Willory, they set off to Jolly Joe's, a known pirate hang-out, where they learn it was Robert who kidnapped the prince in the hopes of exacting revenge on the king, Robert's brother. They also learn that the clues to find Robert's fortress are hidden in a cave past the Rocks of Malabar. They do find the clues there, but Sedgewick happens across what appears to be a pool of cheese curls, his favorite snack, and decides to stay on the island and relax instead of pursuing Robert. When George and Elliot return to the beach, they discover that Robert's men have taken their boat and captured Eloise and Willory. They head out to follow the clues: go east to the isle of walking rocks, and through the clapping pass.

Back in the cave, the cheese curls turn out to be alive - and vicious. Sedgewick is attacked and, in his desperation to escape being eaten by his own favorite food, discovers he can do anything without giving up. When George and Elliot get to the isle, the rocks, which are really large rock-monsters, start to surround them, but then Sedgewick arrives, having now swum across the ocean followed by the cheese curls. The rocks find the curls amusing and start to interact with them.

The pass opens and one of the rock-monsters helps them get through it. Within the hidden bay, they quickly find Robert's fortress, which is apparently unguarded, but a giant serpent attacks their ship. George and Sedgewick are terrified, but Elliot, overcoming his fear, realizes the guardian is actually just a mechanical device; when it "eats him," he is able to shut the machine down from inside and save his friends.

They rescue the prince and princess, with the help of Sedgewick's "labor-saving device," only to be stopped by Robert. Finding his self-respect at last, George uses a chandelier to knock Robert down. They escape through the fortress's cistern, with Robert in hot pursuit. Back in the bay, Robert's ship opens fire on the heroes, but the king shows up just in time, and Robert goes down with his ship.

The king gives them medals for their good work, reminding them that heroes aren't necessarily strong or handsome or dashing, but in fact anyone who does what he or she knows is right no how matter hard the situation. The Helpseeker returns them to the restaurant, just in time for the Friday night show, but Robert has stowed away on their trip back and attacks Sir Frederick, mistaking him for George. A final showdown with Robert sends him back to his own time. The audience cheers wildly, including their loved ones, and George's children respect him at last. Offered a second chance to be in the show, they refuse, saying that life has plenty of adventure of its own... as the Helpseeker blinks once again.

Explanations

 * Cardiac arrest is a sudden stop in effective blood circulation due to the failure of the heart to contract effectively or at all.

Trivia

 * This is the last project Jam Filled Toronto worked with Big World.
 * There were a few differences between the pre-production and the final.
 * "Somewhere in the present" was going to be "Somewhere last week". This was changed because they didn't want to confuse viewers about time.
 * Originally, there was a scene with Jimmy who is driving a bus to the nursing home, calling out the blind man that it's time to go. However, this was cut because of time.
 * Robert's scene after the Pirates meet Eloise was added so it didn't feel like the movie drifted away from the bad guy.
 * This was originally supposed to be released on February 2008, but was pushed back to January.
 * The wheel in the cistern was going to be a lever, but was changed because viewers would get confused if that was the lever the prophecy meant.
 * In the second teaser trailer, when George says "There's something you don't see everyday", it's at daytime, but in the actual movie, it is shown at nighttime.

Inside References

 * Sedgewick stating if George is the lion is a character reference towards Pa Circle playing the lion from the Wizard of Paws.
 * Robert saying "To the ship!" was a quote previously used in the first 3-2-1 Walruses! episode.

Real World References

 * TiVo is a American company who were known for their digital video recorders, introduced in 1999.
 * The Weather Channel is a American cable and satellite channel.
 * Edward Scissorhands is the title character from the film with the same name.
 * The scene with the Cheese Curl monsters crawling out of the hole was inspired by the first Mummy film. Mike states it's also based on the Lord of the Rings films where the goblins come out of the columns.
 * "Say hello to my little friend!" is a quote from "Scarface".