Spongesonic: Chocolate with Nuts (remake)

Sonic as SpongeBob, Tails as Patrick, Espio as Squidward, Shadow as Tom, Chris as the Con Artist Fish/Crippled Fish, Cosmo as Sadie, Knuckles as Nathiel Waters, Vector as the Purple Fish, Dr. Eggman as the Mail Fish and Fred, Charmy as the Hick Fish, Rouge as Mary, Ella as Mary's Mother, Mr. Tanaka as the Maitre D Fish and Tails (Sonic Boom) as the Patrick Look-Alike

Sonic/SpongeBob: [Humming To Self]

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Hi, Mailman!"

Dr. Eggman/Mail Fish: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Okay,  see you tomorrow."

Tails/Patrick: "Hey, the mail's here, what'd you get?"

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Let's see... Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, hey, a magazine."

Sonic/SpongeBob: "That's funny, I don't remember subscribing to Fancy Living Digest."

Sonic/SpongeBob and Tails/Patrick: "WHOOOOOOOOOAAAAH!"

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Look at all these glossy depictions of a higher standard of living, this guy's so rich, he has a swimming pool in his swimming pool."

Tails/Patrick: "This guy's got shoes!"

Espio/Squidward: "Give me that. Stealing my mail, eh? you're lucky I don't report you to the authorities."

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Hey Squidward, how do the people in that magazine get all that money?"

Espio/Squidward: "They're entrepreneurs, they sell things to people."

Sonic/SpongeBob: "What kind of things?"

Espio/Squidward: "How should I know? things people wanna buy, now keep your paws off my mail."

Sonic/SpongeBob: "That's it, Patrick, we gotta becomes entrepreneurs."

Tails/Patrick: "Is that gonna hurt?"

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Quick, Patrick, without thinking, if you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?"

Tails/Patrick: "Uh, more time for thinking."

Sonic/SpongeBob: "No, something real, an item, something you would pay for."

Tails/Patrick: "A chocolate bar?"

Sonic/SpongeBob: "That's a great idea, Pat, we'll become traveling chocolate bar salesmen."

(Scenery change)

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Fancy living, here we come."

Tails/Patrick: "Make way for a couple of ontre-prenyouers."

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Okay, Patrick, this is it, the 1st step on our road to living fancy, just follow my lead."

[Knock On Door]

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Good afternoon, sir, could we interest you in some chocolate?"

Shadow/Tom: "Chocolate? did you say chocolate?"

Tails/Patrick: "Yes, sir, with or without nuts."

Shadow/Tom: "Chocolate?!? CHOCOLATE?!?!?! CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAATE! CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAATE! CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAATE! CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAATE!"

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Okay, the 1st guy didn't count, this is our real 1st step."

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Good Morning, sir, would you like to buy some chocolate?"

Chris/Con Artist Fish: "Chocolate bars, eh?"

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Yes, sir, we are chocolate bar salesmen."

Chris/Con Artist Fish: "Ha, a couple of mediocre salesmen if you ask me, that's no way to carry your merchandise."

Chris/Con Artist Fish: "No, no no no, wrong, you guys wanna be good salesmen, right?"

Sonic/SpongeBob and Tails/Patrick: "Oh, most certainly, sir."

Chris/Con Artist Fish: "Well, [Chuckles A BIit] no self respecting candy bar salesman would be caught dead without 1 of these."

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Wow, what is it?"

Chris/Con Artist Fish: "It's a candy bar bag, you knuckle-head, it's specially designed to cradle each candy bar in velvet-lined comfort."

Chris/Con Artist Fish: "But.....I'm wasting my time, you don't need these bags.

Sonic/SpongeBob and Tails/Patrick: "We need 'em, we need 'em!"

(Another Scenery Change)

Chris/Con Artist Fish: "So long, boys, happy hunting, [Chuckles A Bit] suckers."

Sonic/SpongeBob and Tails/Patrick: Fancy livin', here we come, la, la, la, la, la

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Let's try next door."

[Doorbell Ringing]

Chris/Con Artist Fish: "Yes?"

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Huh? say, weren't you the same guy who sold us these candy bar bags?"

Chris/Con Artist Fish: "I don't recall, but it looks to me like you fellas have got a lot of bags there, you two lady killers are too smart to be without 1 of my patented Candy Bar Bag Carrying Bags."

Tails/Patrick: "We'll take twenty!"

(Another Scenery Change)

Cosmo/Sadie: "Oh, what can I do for you 2 nice young men?"

Sonic/SpongeBob: "We're selling chocolate bars, would you like to buy 1?"

Cosmo/Sadie: "That sounds heavenly, I'll take 1."

Sonic/SpongeBob: "1 chocolate bar, coming up."

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Huh? [Chuckles Nervously] huh? [Stammering] huh? [Stammering] huh? [Stammering] I know they're in here somewhere."

Cosmo/Sadie: "I don't have time for this."

Sonic/SpongeBob: "I got it, 1 chocolate bar for the nice- "

Shadow/Tom: "CHOCOLATE!"

Sonic/SpongeBob: "lady."

Shadow/Tom: "CHOCOLAAAAATE! CHOCOLAAAATE! CHOCOLAAAATE!"

Sonic/SpongeBob: "We're not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic."

Tails/Patrick: "Hm... I got it! Let's get naked!"

Sonic/SpongeBob: "No, let's save that for when we're selling real estate, there must be something. What was the reason we bought those bags?"

Tails/Patrick: "He said we were mediocre."

Sonic/SpongeBob: "That's it! He made us feel special!"

Tails/Patrick: "Yeah, he did, I'm going back to buy more bags!"

Sonic/SpongeBob: "No wait, Patrick, why don't we try being nice?"

Tails/Patrick: "Oh, okay."

(Another Scenery Change)

Sonic/SpongeBob: Remember Patrick, flatter the customer. Make him feel good.

Knuckles/Nathiel Waters: Hello?

Tails/Patrick: "I love you."

Sonic/SpongeBob: "I think you laid it on a teensy bit thick there, old pal, let me try."

Knuckles/Nathiel Waters: "Please, G-Go away."

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Um, [clears throat] H-H-How you doin'?"

Knuckles/Nathiel Waters: How am I doing?

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Wanna buy some chocolate?"

Tails/Patrick: We got him now!

Knuckles/Nathiel Waters: Sorry, chocolate has sugar and sugar turns to bubbling fat. Isn't that right, blubber boy?

Tails/Patrick: [Laughs A BIt] it tickles!

Knuckles/Nathiel Waters: As you can see, me and chocolate no longer hang.

Knuckles/Nathiel Waters: You can keep that for 5 bucks.

Tails/Patrick: I'll take 10!

Sonic/SpongeBob: "We haven't sold 1 chocolate bar. I got a feeling that were too easily distracted."

Tails/Patrick: Huh?

Sonic/SpongeBob: "Let's make a pact right now that we will stay focused on selling at the next house."

Tails/Patrick: Huh?

Sonic/SpongeBob: Let's shake on it.

Tails/Patrick: Did you say something?

(Another Scenery Change)

Sonic/SpongeBob: Remember Patrick, focus.

Vector/Purple Fish: Yes?

Sonic/SpongeBob: Good afternoon, sir, wanna buy some chocolate?

Vector/Purple Fish: Why is Tubby here staring at me?

Tails/Patrick: Focusing.

Vector/Purple Fish: Back off, Jack!

Tails/Patrick: Nice place you got in here.

(Another Scenery Change)

Sonic/SpongeBob: I can't understand what were doing wrong.

Tails/Patrick: I can't understand anything

Sonic/SpongeBob: There's something to this selling game were just not getting. Other people do it, I mean look at that!

Tails/Patrick: [reading the sign] Eat Barnacle Chips, they're delicious.

Sonic/SpongeBob: They are most certainly not delicious!

Patrick: Not the way I use them!

Sonic/SpongeBob: Yet they sell millions of bags a day!

Tails/Patrick: Well, maybe if they didn't stretch the truth, they wouldn't sell as many.

Sonic/SpongeBob:  That's it, Patrick! We've gotta stretch the truth!

Shadow/Tom: CHOCOLATE!

Sonic/SpongeBob: We'll work as a team. Let me get this customer warmed up and you come in for the kill!

Tails/Patrick: The kill!

[Doorbell Ringing]

Rouge/Mary: Yes?

Sonic/SpongeBob: Hello, young lady. We're selling chocolate. Is your mother home?

Rouge/Mary: Mom!

Ella/Mary's Mother: What? what? what's all the yelling? you just can't wait for me to die, can you?

Rouge/Mary: They're selling chocolate.

Ella/Mary's Mother: Chocolate?

Rouge/Mary: Yeah!

Ella/Mary's Mother: What, what are they selling?

Rouge/Mary: Chocolates!

Ella/Mother: What?

Rouge/Mary: CHOCOLATES!

Ella/Mary's Mother: I can't hear you!

Rouge/Mary: THEY'RE SELLING CHOCOLATES!

Ella/Mary's Mother: They're selling chocolate?

Rouge/Mary: YEAH!

Ella/Mary's Mother: Chocolate. I remember when they first invented chocolate. Sweet, sweet chocolate. I always hated it!

Sonic/SpongeBob: Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating. It's for...

Tails/Patrick: You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever.

Ella/Mary's Mother: Live forever you say? I'll take 1

Ella/Mary's Mother: Come on, you lazy Mary! Start rubbing me with that chocolate!

Rouge/Mary: I hate you.

Sonic/SpongeBob: If we keep exaggerating the truth, we'll be fancy living in no time!

Tails/Patrick: Hooray for lying!

(Another Scenery Change)

Sonic/SpongeBob: It'll make your hair grow.

Dr. Eggman/Fred: Great! My wife's trying to grow a beard!

Sonic/SpongeBob: It'll make you sound smart.

Charmy/Hick Fish: I'll take 20!

Tails/Patrick: It'll keep your face from getting any uglier.

Tails (Sonic Boom)/Patrick Number 2: Just in time.

Sonic/SpongeBob: They'll make you fly!

Tails/Patrick: You'll fall in love!

Sonic/SpongeBob: They'll bring world peace!

Tails/Patrick: You'll walk through walls!

Sonic/SpongeBob: You'll rule the world!

(Another Scenery Change)

Tails/Patrick: This'll be the best lie yet!

Sonic/SpongeBob: Yeah, this guy will feel sorry for us, he'll have to buy all of our chocolate!

Chris/Crippled Fish What can I do for you boys?

Sonic/SpongeBob: Hello, sir. Would you like to buy a chocolate bar? We need an operation.

Chris/Crippled Fish: Really? Small world. What's the matter with you guys?

Sonic/SpongeBob: Um, we've got some head trauma and internal bleeding.

Chris/Crippled Fish: Well, some guys have all the luck. I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning, I break my legs, and every afternoon, I break my arms. At night, I lay awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. oh no... ow."

Sonic/SpongeBob: Come on, Patrick, let's help him! Careful, put him down gently.

Chris/Crippled Fish: Ow...

Sonic/SpongeBob: Poor, poor man. Is there anything, anything we can do to help you?

Chris/Crippled Fish: Well, there is 1 thing... as you can imagine, my medical bills are extremely high, but luckily, I am able to keep myself alive by selling... chocolate bars.

Chris/Crippled Fish/ Con Artist Fish:Such nice boys, it does my heart good to con a couple of Class A suckeroonies like those 2! HA HA HA!

Sonic/SpongeBob: Don't get me wrong, Patrick. It's great that we helped that guy out, but there's no 1 left in town to sell chocolate bars to.

Sonic/SpongeBob: Let's admit it, Patrick. We're failures.

Tails/Patrick: I can live with that.

Sonic/SpongeBob: Let's change our names to Why and Bother.

Shadow/Tom: CHOCOLATE!

Sonic/SpongeBob: No! Don't hurt us. Please don't hurt me. No no. Please...

Tails/Patrick: No! Don't hurt us, Tom. Please Spare Me!

Shadow/Tom: Finally! I've been trying to catch you boys all day! Now that I got you right where I want you...I'd like to buy all your chocolate.

Sonic/SpongeBob: Thank you for your patronage.

Tails/Patrick: Are we living the fancy life yet, SpongeBob?

Sonic/SpongeBob: Not yet, pally! 1st, we gotta spend all the money.

Tails/Patrick: But what are we going to spend it on?

(Another Scenery Change)

Espio/Squidward: Good evening, sir. Table for one, please.

Mr. Tanaka/Maitre D' Fish: Sorry, but the whole restaurant has been rented to a private party.

Espio/Squidward: But it's my only night to be fancy! Oh, who could afford to rent out the whole restraunt?

Mr. Tanaka/Maitre D' Fish: Oh, a couple of rich entrepreneurs and their dates.

Sonic/SpongeBob: So, how long have you two ladies known each other?

Ella/Mary's Mother: What? What did he say?