My Life as an Adult Android Characters Read Famous Movie Quotes

Transcript

 * Jimmy Kimmel: "Ready... get set... and ACTION!"
 * Jena Wakeman: "Wow, Mr. Kimmel. That was a clip!"
 * Sheldon Lee: "What is it supposed to mean?"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Alright, alright then, we're just going to say some lines from movies."
 * (Famous Film Quotes Featuring the Characters from My Life as an Adult Android.)
 * Brad Carbunkle: "Feast your eyes! Glut your soul on my accursed ugliness!"
 * Vexus: "Wait a minute! Wait a minute! You ain't heard nothin' yet. Wait a minute, I tell ya, you ain't heard nothin'! Do you wanna hear 'Toot, Toot, Tootsie!'?
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Would you be shocked if I put on something more comfortable?"
 * Brad Carbunkle: "One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I don't know."
 * Sheldon Lee: "Look! It's moving. It's alive. It's alive... It's alive. It's moving, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, IT'S ALIVE!"
 * Vexus: "I am...Drac-u-la. I bid you welcome."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Mother of Mercy! Is this the end of Rico?"
 * Sheldon Lee: "The men I know, and I've known dozens of them, oh, they're so nice, so polished, so considerate. Most women like that type. I guess they're afraid of the other kind. I thought I was, too. But you're so strong. You don't give. You take. Oh, Tommy, I could love you to death."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "But I want to be alone."
 * Vexus: "I'd horsewhip you, if I had a horse."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "He-he-he went for a little walk! Ha, ha, ha.You should have seen his face! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...!"
 * XJ-4: "It took more than one man to change my name to Shanghai Lily."
 * Misty: "Jane, Tarzan, Jane, Tarzan..."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "Sawyer, you're going out a youngster, but you've got to come back a star!"
 * Vexus: "Oh, no. It wasn't the airplanes. It was Beauty killed the Beast."
 * Misty: "Why don't you come up sometime 'n see me?
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into!"
 * Vexus: "You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Well, it's not the men in your life that counts. It's the life in your men."
 * Vega: "The drugs I took seemed to light up my brain. Suddenly I realized the power I held, the power to rule, to make the world grovel at my feet."
 * Vertex: "I wasn't always rich...No, there was a time I didn't know where my next husband was coming from."
 * XJ-4: "Shapeley's the name - and that's the way I like 'em!"
 * Vexus: "My soul, woman, I give you three murders and you're still not satisfied."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "He won't kill himself. It would please too many people."
 * Sheldon Lee: "There ain't no Sanity Claus!"
 * Kenny Mogg: "If I ever forgot myself with that girl, I'd remember it."
 * Vexus: "To a new World of Gods and Monsters. Ha, ha."
 * Sheldon Lee: "I'll take my chance against the law. You'll take yours against the sea."
 * Jena Wakeman: "People here are funny. They-they work so hard at living they forget how to live."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "...a practical device which automatically feeds your men while at work. Don't stop for lunch. Be ahead of your competitor. The Billows feeding machine will eliminate the lunch hour, increase your production, and decrease your overhead."
 * Vexus: "Emily, I have a little confession to make. I really am a horse doctor. But marry me and I'll never look at any other horse."
 * Sheldon Lee: "For when that day comes, the world must begin to look for a new life. And it is our hope that they may find it here. For here, we shall be with their books and their music and the way of life based on one simple rule: Be kind. When that day comes, it is our hope that the brotherly love of Shangri-La will spread throughout the world."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Magic Mirror on the Wall. Who is the fairest one of all?"
 * Founder of Mezmer: "Welcome to Sherwood, my lady!"
 * Vexus: "Whaddya hear? Whaddya say?"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Oh, yes, I'll be with you in a minute, Mr. Peabody."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "Elementary, my dear Watson. Purely elementary."
 * Vexus: "Frankly, my dear. I don't give a damn."
 * Kenny Mogg: " ' There's no place like home'. 'There's no place like home'."
 * Dr. Nora Wakeman: "Dad always used to say the only causes worth fighting for  were  the lost causes."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "He used to be a big shot."
 * Jena Wakeman: "Take me to the window. Let me look at the moors with you once more. My darling, once more.
 * Sheldon Lee: "That's what makes us tough. Rich fellas come up and die and their kids ain't no good, and they die out. But we keep a-comin'. We're the people that live. They can't wipe us out. They can't lick us. And we'll go on forever, Pa... 'cause... we're the people."
 * Vexus: "...We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each others' happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world, there's room for everyone and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "The last man who said that to me was Archie Leach just a week before he cut his throat."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "And the last thing he said to me, 'Rock,' he said, 'sometime when the team is up against it and the breaks are beating the boys, tell 'em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper.'"
 * Sheldon Lee: "Put me in your pocket, Mike."
 * Vega: "Last night, I dreamt I went to Manderley again...We can never go back to Manderley again. That much is certain."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "R-o-s-e-b-u-d."
 * Sheldon Lee: "The, uh, stuff that dreams are made of."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for."
 * XJ-6: "War is killin', and the Book's agin' killin! So war is agin' the Book!"
 * Sheldon Lee: "Here's looking at you, kid."
 * Vexus: "Oh, Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars."
 * XJ-4: "Ladies and gentlemen. My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you."
 * Vega: "You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together - and blow."
 * Misty:  "Randy, Randy ! Where's the  rest  of me?"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Shall we just have a cigarette on it?"
 * Jena Wakeman: "There are a lot of inconveniences to yachting that most people don't know anything about...Give me the peaceful train."
 * Vexus: "Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops."
 * Sheldon Lee: "It was a hot afternoon, and I can still remember the smell of honeysuckle all along that street. How could I have known that murder can sometimes smell like honeysuckle?"
 * Jena Wakeman: "I haven't been afraid since I've known you."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "It isn't a town, Mr. Neely. It's a city. It's the only city that has a world's fair. My favorite. Wasn't I lucky to be born in my favorite city?"
 * Brad Carbunkle: "Anybody got a match?"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third..."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "What I'm trying to say is, 'I'm not a drinker - I'm a drunk.'"
 * Jena Wakeman: "Personally, Veda's convinced me that alligators have the right idea. They eat their young."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "So you're a private detective. I didn't know they existed, except in books, or else they were greasy little men snooping around hotel corridors."
 * Sheldon Lee: "You always said you could shoot. I never believed ya."
 * Vexus: "Are you decent?"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "George Bailey. I'll love you 'til the day I die."
 * Jena Wakeman: "Maybe the fact that you don't love me."
 * Vexus: "Tell me something, gentlemen. Tell me, why it is that every man who seems attractive these days is either married or barred on a technicality?"
 * Vexus: "Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges!"
 * XJ-6: "In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed - but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love. And in 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock. So long, Holly."
 * Sheldon Lee: "Made it, Ma! Top of the world!"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "What a dump!"
 * Jena Wakeman: "Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night."
 * Vexus: "All right, Mr. De Mille. I'm ready for my closeup."
 * Jena Wakeman: "Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what we are put in this world to rise above."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."
 * Vega: "(Gort!) Klaatu barada nikto."
 * XJ-4: "I love you. I've loved you since the first moment I saw you. I guess maybe I've even loved you before I saw you."
 * Sheldon Lee: "It's no good. I've got to go back, Amy."
 * Vexus: "Well, we movie stars get the glory. I guess we have to take the little heartaches that go with it. People think we lead lives of glamour and romance, but we're really lonely - terribly lonely."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Say, I like this: Early Nothing."
 * Vega: "Robert E. Lee Prewitt. Isn't that a silly old name?"
 * Brad Carbunkle: "There it is, Wendy. Second star to the right and straight on till morning."
 * Jena Wakeman: "Shane! Shane! Come back!"
 * Vexus: "Hey, Johnny, what are you rebelling against?"
 * Brad Carbunkle: "...You don't understand! I could've had class. I could've been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am. Let's face it. It was you, Charley."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "The New York State sentence for a Peeping Tom is six months in the work house...They got no windows in the work house. You know, in the old days, they used to put your eyes out with a red-hot poker. Any of those bikini bombshells you're always watchin' worth a red-hot poker? Oh dear, we've become a race of Peeping Toms. What people oughta do is get outside their own house and look in for a change. Yes, sir. How's that for a bit of home-spun philosophy?"
 * Vertex: "Hello, everybody. This is Mrs. Norman Maine.
 * Vexus: "Bob, will you do me one favor?...Give me one reason, one good reason why we should spend our last two hours in Florida looking at the sisters of Freckle-Face Haynes, the dog-face boy."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Dogs like us, we ain't such dogs as we think we are."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "Well now, what's it to be, Lord? Another widow? How many has it been? Six? Twelve? I disremember. You say the word, Lord, I'm on my way."
 * Jena Wakeman: "You're tearing me apart! You, you say one thing, he says another, and everybody changes back again!"
 * Synogue of Satan: "When it's hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the icebox!"
 * Vexus: "That'll be the day."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Monsters from the Id...Monsters from the subconscious."
 * Vexus: "Come on, partner. Why don't you kick off your spurs?"
 * Sheldon Lee: "Love, desire, ambition, faith - without them life's so simple, believe me."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "When I shall sit, you shall sit. When I shall kneel, you shall kneel. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera."
 * Vega: "Oh, Moses! Moses! You stubborn, splendid, adorable fool!"
 * Misty: "Do not speak to me of rules. This is war! This is not a game of cricket!"
 * Vexus: "I'll  never  forget his face after the accident. Never."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "One thing'll be clear. It's not for man to interfere in the ways of God."
 * Sheldon Lee: "I'm getting smaller, Lou. Every day."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "He was my dog. I'll do it."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Why is it always, always so costly for Man to move from the present to the future?"
 * Vexus: "Sir Wilfred? You've forgotten your brandy."
 * Jena Wakeman: "Live, that's the message."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "What are they gonna do with that thing, Dave?"
 * Vexus: "Well, the Air Force is sending a Globemaster in. They're flyin' it to the Arctic."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "It's not dead, is it?"
 * Sheldon Lee: "No, it's not. Just frozen. I don't think it can be killed. But at least we've got it stopped."
 * Jena Wakeman: "Yeah, as long as the Arctic stays cold." 
 * Jenny Wakeman: "You know what I feel like? I feel all the time like a cat on a hot tin roof."
 * Vexus: "I'm Hank Quinlan."
 * Sheldon Lee: "Well, I'll wear the darn clothes if you want me to - if-if you'll just, just like me."
 * Jena Wakeman: "That's funny...That plane's dustin' crops where there ain't no crops."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "You are all condemned men. We keep you alive to serve this ship. So row well - and live."
 * Sheldon Lee: "Well, nobody's perfect."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Well, a boy's best friend is his mother."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "I'm Spartacus!.... (repeated) "
 * Vexus: "That's the way it crumbles, cookie-wise."
 * Jena Wakeman: "The old man was right. Only the farmers won. We lost. We'll always lose."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "We looked for the good in them, and we found it, didn't we?"
 * Vexus: "I mean, any gentleman with the slightest chic will give a girl a $50 dollar bill for the powder room. And I aIways ask for cab fare, too. That's another $50."
 * Jena Wakeman; "You owe me money!"
 * Brad Carbunkle: "Though nothing can bring back the hour. Of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower. We will grieve not, rather find. Strength in what remains behind."
 * Sheldon Lee: "Te adoro, Maria."
 * Jena Wakeman: "...Bond. James Bond."
 * XJ-4: "Well sir, goin' 'ome...'Ome, sir."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "I think it was your cherry pies!"
 * Vexus: "...Made to commit acts too unspeakable to be cited here by an enemy who had captured his mind and his soul. He freed himself at last and in the end heroically and unhesitatingly gave his life to save his country. Raymond Shaw. Hell! Hell!"
 * Brad Carbunkle: "Miss Jean Louise. Miss Jean Louise. Stand up. Your father's passin'."
 * Sheldon Lee: "Then you mean, all this time we could've beenfriends?"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Do you know what's wrong with you?"
 * Jena Wakeman: "No, what?"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Nothing."
 * Vega: "Well, let me know when it gets to botherin' ya."
 * Vexus: "Gentlemen. You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!"
 * Sheldon Lee: "You're a woman of many parts, Pussy!"
 * Jena Wakeman: "Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Come on. Dover! Come on, Dover! Move yer bloomin' arse!"
 * Vexus: "Ah, then it's a gift."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "The Von Trapp children don't play. They march."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig."
 * Vega: "Who knows, Robin? This strange mixing of minds may be the greatest single service ever performed for humanity! Let's go, but, inconspicuously, through the window. We'll use our Batropes. Our job is finished."
 * Vexus: "What a dump!"
 * Jena Wakeman: (While Jenny's on the phone) "What we've got here is failure to communicate."
 * Vexus: "Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me, aren't you?"
 * Sheldon Lee: "They call me Mister Tibbs."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "We rob banks."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "...Because in the final analysis, it doesn't matter a damn what we think. The only thing that matters is what they feel, and how much they feel for each other. And if it's half of what we felt, that's everything."
 * Sheldon Lee: "That's it, baby, when ya got it, flaunt it, flaunt it!"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Take your stinkin' paws off me, you damned dirty ape!"
 * Jena Wakeman: "Open the pod bay doors, HAL."
 * Sheldon Lee: "Well, Mr. Potts!"
 * Jena Wakeman: "Hello, gorgeous."
 * Vexus: "We all prisoners, chickie-baby. We all locked in."
 * Brad Carbunkle: " They're coming to get you, Barbra."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "I can't take it anymore, Felix. I'm crackin' up. Everything you do irritates me. And when you're not here, the things I know you're gonna do when you come in irritate me. You leave me little notes on my pillow. I told you 158 times - I cannot stand little notes on my pillow. 'We are all out of Corn Flakes. F.U.' It took me three hours to figure out that 'F.U.' was Felix Unger. It's not your fault, Felix. It's a rotten combination, that's all."
 * Sheldon Lee: "Please, sir. I want some more."
 * XJ-4: "God is dead! Satan lives! The year is One, the year is One! God is dead! Why don't you help us out, Rosemary? Be a real mother to Adrian. You don't have to join if you don't want to. Just be a mother to your baby. Minnie and Laura-Louise are too old. It's not right. Think about it, Rosemary."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "I'm walkin' here! I'm walkin' here!"
 * Jena Wakeman: "Boy, I got vision and the rest of the world wears bifocals."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Oh, oh, I've got a helmet. I've got a beauty."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off."
 * Sheldon Lee: "It's alright. It's quite alright, really. She's having a rest. We'll be going on soon. There's no hurry, you see. We have all the time in the world."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "I mean to kill you in one minute, Ned, or see you hanged in Fort Smith at Judge Parker's convenience. Which'll it be?"
 * Sheldon Lee: "I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Fill your hand, you son-of-a-bitch!"
 * Jena Wakeman: "If they move, kill 'em."
 * Sheldon Lee: "Love means never having to say you're sorry."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Oh, Frank. Oh, Frank. My lips are hot. Oh, kiss my hot lips."
 * Sheldon Lee: "I love it. God help me, I do love it so. I love it more than my life."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "I know what you're thinkin'. 'Did he fire six shots or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk?"
 * Misty: "How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if you have any yarbles, you eunich jelly thou."
 * Vexus: "James, how the hell do we get those diamonds down again?"
 * Jena Wakeman: "Intelligent creature. But then, so were your mother and father."
 * Vega: "This is Doyle. I'm sittin' on Frog One."
 * Vexus: "Greet the dawn with a breath of fire."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "...you get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!"
 * Vega: "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."
 * Sheldon Lee: "Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome. Fremde, etranger, stranger. Glucklich zu sehen. Je suis enchante. Happy to see you. Bleibe, reste, stay. Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome. lm Cabaret, au Cabaret, to Cabaret."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "Say, mister, I love the way you wear that hat."
 * Vexus: "Attention! Attention! Ladies and gentlemen, attention! There is a herd of killer rabbits headed this way and we desperately need your help!"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "She can't climb in that. It's too tight."
 * Vexus: "She's got nothing under it!"
 * Sheldon Lee: "Just panties. What else do l need?"
 * Kenny Mogg: "Soylent Green is people!"
 * Brad Carbunkle: "What an excellent day for an exorcism."
 * Vega: "What does a girl have to do to go to bed with you?"
 * Vexus: "Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown."
 * Sheldon Lee: "Hold it. The next man makes a move, the nigger gets it."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "My father taught me many things here. He taught me, 'Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.'"
 * Jena Wakeman: "Put the candle back."
 * Melody Locus: "Attica! Attica! Attica!..."
 * Sheldon Lee: "You're gonna need a bigger boat."
 * Vega: "Just a flesh wound."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "They uh, was givin' me ten thousand watts a day, you know, and I'm hot to trot. The next woman takes me out is gonna light up like a pinball machine, and pay off in silver dollars."
 * Vexus: "Say! One of you guys know how to Madison?"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take this anymore!'"
 * Vexus: "You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Well, who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here. Who the f--k do you think you're talkin' to?"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Follow the money....Just follow the money."
 * Jena Wakeman: "I can see your dirty pillows. Everyone will."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "Is it safe?"
 * XJ-4: "When things look bad, and it looks like you're not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb mad dog mean. 'Cause if you lose your head and you give up, then you neither live nor win. That's just the way it is."
 * Jena Wakeman: "Yo, Adrian!"
 * Vexus: "No!"
 * Brad Carbunkle: "May the force be with you."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."
 * Kenny Mogg: "G - A - F - F (octave lower) - C"
 * Brad Carbunkle: "Will you just watch the hair? You know, I work on my hair a long time and you, you hit it. He hits my hair."
 * Vexus: "Keeping the British end up, Sir."
 * Vega: "Toga! Toga!"
 * Jena Wakeman: "I don't think about one shot that much any more, Mike."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "I met this six year-old child with this blank, pale emotionless face, and the blackest eyes - the Devil's eyes.  I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized that what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply evil."
 * Dr. Nora Wakeman: "You've got ME? Who's got YOU?"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "I love the smell of napalm in the morning."
 * Sheldon Lee: "He's not the Messiah. He's a  very  naughty boy."
 * Vexus: "This is Ripley, last survivor of the  Nostromo, signing off. "
 * Jenny Wakeman: "...as long as the roots are not severed, all is well, and all will be well in the garden."
 * Sheldon Lee: "Listen. You shouldn't ask me for advice. When it comes to relationships with women, I'm the winner of the August Strindberg award."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "Fozzie, where did you learn to drive?"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "I took a correspondence course."
 * Vexus: "Waaaarrrrrriiiorsss, come out to play-i-ay."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Surely you can't be serious."
 * Jena Wakeman: "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."
 * Vexus: "No, I am your father."
 * Sheldon Lee: "He-e-e-e-re's Johnnie!"
 * Vega: "It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses."
 * Vexus: "This crowd has gone deadly silent. Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac... It's in the hole! It's in the hole!.."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "I'm gonna take a bath."
 * Vexus: "I'll alert the media."
 * Misty: "Do you want to run my bath for me?"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "It's what I live for. Perhaps you'd like me to come in there and wash your dick for you...you little s--t."
 * Vega: "No - wire - hangers. What's wire hangers doing in this closet when I told you - no wire hangers EVER!"
 * Brad Carbunkle: "Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?"
 * Vexus: "It's good to be the king."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "Norman. Come here. Come here, Norman. Hurry up. The loons! The loons! They're welcoming us back."
 * Dr. Nora Wakeman: "You're a lean, mean fighting machine."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. Time to die."
 * Sheldon Lee: "E.T. phone home."
 * Vexus: "They're here!"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women."
 * Jena Wakeman: "First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. 'Oh, Debbie. Hi.' Two, you always call the shots. 'Kiss me. You won't regret it.' Now three, act like wherever ya are, that's the place to be. 'Isn't this great?' Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of ya. It's a classy move. 'Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice.' And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to makin' out, whenever possible, put on side 1 of Led Zeppelin IV."
 * Vexus: "What the hell kinda cop are you?"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "You know what I am? I'm your worst f--kin' nightmare, man. I'm a nigger with a badge - that means I got permission to kick your f--kin' ass whenever I feel like it! "
 * Vexus: "Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, sir."
 * Misty: "No, I don't hate Balboa. But I pity the fool, and I will destroy any man who tries to take what I got!"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "I don't believe in the no-win scenario."
 * Jena Wakeman: "That is one nutty hospital."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Say 'hello' to my little friend!"
 * Sheldon Lee: "Go ahead, make my day."
 * Vexus: "Oh fudge! -- Only I didn't say fudge. I said THE word. The big one. The queen mother of dirty words. The F-dash-dash-dash word."
 * XJ-4: "Don't you understand? When you give up your dream, you die."
 * Vega: "It's not like that at all. He's my brother."
 * Sheldon Lee: "No bucks, no Buck Rogers."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Every now and then, say 'What the f--k!' 'What the f--k' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity  makes  your future."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Oh, Mama, that's the first time I stopped hugging first. I like that."
 * Vexus: "Hey, hey. Bubbles, man! Say, man, when I was growin' up, we wanted a Jacuzzi, we had to fart in the tub. This is bad!"
 * Jena Wakeman: "...These feelings make you do things you wouldn't normally do....Yeah, like swimming naked with girls..."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "It's your friends. Well, f--k you! Now, f--k off, for sure, like totally!"
 * Sheldon Lee: "He slimed me."
 * Vexus: "I'll be back."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?"
 * Jena Wakeman: "These go to  eleven ."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don't forget to breathe, very important. Wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off. "
 * Sheldon Lee: "Can I borrow your underpants for ten minutes?"
 * Vexus: "Roads? Where we're going we don't need - roads."
 * Melody Locus: "I'll give you the answer to that question, Mr. Bender, next Saturday. Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns."
 * Jena Wakeman: "He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man. And I mean, I'm afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died..."
 * Vexus: "I lost the nest egg!"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "I had a compass from Denys. To steer by, he said. But later it came to me that we navigated differently. Perhaps he knew, as I did not, that the Earth was made round so that we would not see too far down the road."
 * Vexus: "I don't have to see it, Dottie. I  lived  it."
 * Venus: "Well, my dear, I take it you spend quite a lot of time in the saddle."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "You be careful out among them English."
 * Vega: "Get away from her, you BITCH!"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
 * Misty: "Be afraid. Be very afraid."
 * Sheldon Lee: "I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?"
 * Vega: "I feel the need......the need for speed!"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "It's a sunny, woodsy day in Lumberton, so get those chain saws out. This is the mighty W-O-O-D, the musical voice of Lumberton. At the sound of the falling tree, it's 9:30. There's a whole lot of wood waitin' out there, so let's get goin'."
 * Vexus: "Ha, ha, ha. That's not a knife. THAT's a knife!"
 * Sheldon Lee: "The street light makes my pussy hair glow in the dark. Cotton candy - the glow. I'll show you."
 * Jena Wakeman: "You see the whole culture. Nazis, deodorant salesmen, wrestlers, beauty contests, a talk show. Can you imagine the level of a mind that watches wrestling? Huh? But the worst are the fundamentalist preachers. Third grade con men telling the poor suckers that watch them that they speak with Jesus, and to please send in money. Money, money, money! If Jesus came back and saw what's going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing up."
 * XJ-4: "Just because we're holdin' hands doesn't mean we're gonna take warm showers 'til the wee hours of the morning. You hear me?"
 * Vexus: "There can be only one."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Feed me! Feed me!"
 * Vexus: "Somebody once wrote: 'Hell is the impossibility of reason.' That's what this place feels like. Hell."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Scotty, beam me up!"
 * Sheldon Lee: "Nobody puts Baby in a corner."
 * Vexus: "Goooood morning, Vietnam!"
 * Jena Wakeman: "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms - greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge - has marked the upward surge of mankind."
 * Vexus: "Well, what am I supposed to do? You won't answer my calls, you change your number. I'm, I'm NOT gonna be ignored."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir." Do you maggots understand that?"
 * Sheldon Lee: "I'm too old for this."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "Death by stereo!"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Snap out of it!"
 * Jena Wakeman: "Those aren't pillows!"
 * Misty: "You're hit. You're bleedin', man!"
 * Vexus: "Son, you got a panty on your head."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Remember how I said I’d rather be with someone for the wrong reasons than alone for the right ones? I’d rather be right. It's gonna feel good to stand on my own..."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "Yippie ki-yay, motherf--ker."
 * XJ-4: "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."
 * Vexus: "This is the damnedest season I've ever seen. I mean, the Durham Bulls can't lose and I can't get laid."
 * Sheldon Lee: "The royal penis is clean, your Highness!"
 * Jena Wakeman: "It's K-K-K-Ken c-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me!"
 * Vexus: "He's on life-support. Doctors say he's got a 50/50 chance of living, though there's only a 10 percent chance of that."
 * Vega: "Quantas never crashed."
 * Vexus: "But If you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? Carpe -- hear it? --Carpe,  Carpe diem . Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "If you build it, he will come."
 * Brad Carbunkle: "I'll have what she's having."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Wait'll they get a load of me."
 * XJ-4: "It's a bit nipply out. I mean, nippy out. Ha, ha, ha. What am I saying? Nipple? Ah, there is a nip in the air, though."
 * Vexus: "As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster...To me being a gangster was better than being president of the United States."
 * Vega: "A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Hasta la vista, baby."
 * Sheldon Lee: "You can't handle the truth!"
 * Jena Wakeman: "There's no crying in baseball!"
 * Brad Carbunkle: "My Mama always said, 'Life was like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get.'"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'."
 * Vexus: "Houston, we have a problem."
 * Jena Wakeman: "That'll do, pig. (pause) That'll do."
 * Sheldon Lee: "Freedoooooooooooooooooooooom!"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "To Infinity and Beyond!"
 * Vexus: "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist"
 * Brad Carbunkle: "Show me the money."
 * Sheldon Lee: "You make me want to be a better man."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "I'm the king of the world!"
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Gentlemen! Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The third rule of Fight Club: someone yells stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. The fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. The fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas. The sixth rule: no shirts, no shoes. The seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight."
 * Jena Wakeman: "I see dead people."
 * Jenny Wakeman: "Are you not entertained! Are you not entertained! Is this not why you are here!"
 * Vega: "I wish I knew how to quit you!"
 * Vexus: "I - drink - your - milkshake! (slurping sounds) I drink it up!"
 * Brad Carbunkle: "Want to know how I got these scars?"