A Town Square Fair transcript

Scene 1: Outside the Salt Lakes City Middle School building
Agnes Johnson's collecting permission slips from the other students.

Agnes Johnson: "Isn’t this super exciting, Marvin? I never seen all of the students super excited about going on a field trip."

Marvin: "It's not a tour to the crayon factory, Agnes, we're going to the town square fair!"

Adam: "Oh, the town square fair, is there anything fair?"

Brian: “If anybody needs me, look for me at the food court.”

Wilbur: "I'm playing all of the games and winning some prizes I can put my hands on, then I’m hitting the thrilled rides."

Connor: "Well, I can't wait to see Big Henry V."

Daisy: “Big Henry V?”

Connor: "Big Henry V, the greatest pig in the entire universe, and he's right here in our own town square fair."

Felicia: "Come on, get out."

Lila: "Yeah, Connor, there's gotta be more than 100 town square fairs and the universe's greatest pig just happened to pick our town square fair?”

Connor: "It’s true, Wilbur and Lila, I saw it in the town square fair newsletter, town square fair television and in the schedule events that came with this beautiful town square fair bracelet."

Jenna: "Wow, Connor, I didn't know the town square fair was such a big deal to you."

Connor: "Yeah, Jenna, well, with my dad working at the office all the time, I never got a chance to go to any town square fair."

Jason: "You never went to any town square fair?"

Connor: "No, Jason, I thought about it plenty of times, the rides, the exhibits, the snack foods, they all seem like a dream and life to me, a dream and life that would never come true."

Shelly: “Oh my gosh, Connor, that's so depressing."

Connor: “But today, it's all gonna change, I'm finally going to the town square fair with you guys, this is gonna be the greatest day of my entire life!"

All Salt Lakes City Middle School students: "Yeah, alright!"

Agnes Johnson: "Board the city bus in an orderly and harmonic fashion and please have your permission slips prepared."

Dean: "The good old leaving school permission slips."

Wilbur: "This is 1 permission slip I'm proud to have for safe keeping."

Connor (off screen): "Good grief,"

Connor: "good grief, good grief!"

Molly: "Please don't tell me you forgot your permission slip, Connor."

Connor: "I had it this morning, Molly, I put it on my desk in my bedroom right after breakfast, my dad must've taken it by mistake!"

April: "Maybe you can call your dad at the office and he can give it back to you, Connor."

Connor: "He's not at the office, April, and my mom's looking at sports related curtains.”

Wilbur: "Don’t worry about it, Connor,"

Lila: "Ms. Johnson will understand."

Agnes Johnson: "Thanks a bunch, Matthew, watch your step, Jeffrey."

Wilbur: “Ms. Johnson,"

Lila: "we got a major big problem."

Daisy: "Connor forgot his permission slip."

Agnes Johnson: "Oh my word, that's a real big problem, without a permission slip, Connor, you can't go, it's against school policy."

Connor: [Whimpering In Fear]

Wilbur: "Listen, Ms. Johnson, going on this field trip really means a lot to Connor,"

Lila: "how 'bout you reconsider with 25 cents?"

Agnes Johnson (sternly): "Wilbur, Lila."

Wilbur: “Yes, Ms. Johnson,"

Lila: "that was absolutely wrong."

George Terwilliger: "What’s this I here? Connor's staying behind?"

Agnes Johnson: "I'm afraid so, George."

George Terwilliger: "No problem, Agnes, I planned some super fun activities for 2 of today's stay behinds."

Connor: "2 of us?"

Noah (off screen): "Hey, Garrison."

Connor: "Noah? you're staying behind too? Wilbur, Lila, can't you guys do something about it?"

Wilbur: "Connor, we promise,"

Lila: "somehow, some other way, we'll get you to that town square fair."

Agnes Johnson: "Hurry up, students, take your seats or we'll all miss Zippo the Rodeo Clown at the rodeo show."

Wilbur and Lila get right on the field trip bus and Connor smiles at them.

George Terwilliger: “Alright, you left behinds, it’s super fun time.”

Connor: [Sighs Depressingly]

The Salt Lakes City Middle School lunch room
George Terwilliger: "Activity 1: a fun thrilled game of Historical Trivial Pursuit, Connor, you go 1st, roll the dice.”

Connor: [Groans In Disappointment]

Connor rolls the dice.

George Terwilliger: "12, move it, Connor."

Connor moves his blue piece 12 spaces.

George Terwilliger: "This man was elected the 20th president of the United States."

Connor: "Thomas Jefferson?"

George Terwilliger: "James Garfield, Connor, haven’t you heard of James Garfield?"

Connor: "Is that really supposed to be my next question?"

George Terwilliger: "Oh never mind that for now, your turn, Noah, roll the dice."

Noah: "So parched."

George Terwilliger: "You kids are always wanting refreshments."

George Terwilliger leaves to get them tropical fruit punch.

Connor: "So, Noah, I guess your dad forgot your permission slip too."

Noah: "My old man doesn't believe in town square fairs, he says they're always fixed."

Connor: "Fixed? there's nothing in the entire universe more fun than a town square fair, they got homemade jams, blue ribbons, honey bee exhibits and everything."

Noah: "Except they don’t got you, do they, shorty?"

George Terwilliger returns with the tropical fruit punch.

George Terwilliger: "Noah's absolutely right, Connor, you're not going anyplace, none of us is, so get over it and begin having fun and excitement."

The scene cuts to the entrance to the town square fair.

[All Students Cheering Wildly]

The other grade students got strawberry banana and blue raspberry snow cones.

[Students Chuckling]

Some of them are at the dart target game.

Matthew throws 1 dart at 1 target.

Ethan throws another dart at another target.

[Farm Animal Sounds]

[Students Cheering Wildly]

Daisy: "The pumpkin in the shape of a giant zucchini,"

Bobby Jr.: "it looks clean and sparkly."

Jason: "Hey, Wilbur, Lila,"

Shelly: "how come you guys aren't amazed by the super thrilling zucchini shaped pumpkin?"

Wilbur: [Sighs Depressingly] "Reminds us too much of Connor,"

Lila: "and how amazed he would've been."

Edwin: "Look, Wilbur and Lila, I know exactly how you're feeling,"

April: "but we're an awful long way from school right now."

Adam: "Yeah right,"

Daisy: "but it better not be difficult for us to help Connor right now,"

Felicia: "since he's my twin brother."

Wilbur: "Well, I gotta try, I promise Connor, and somehow, I’m gonna get a hold of Uncle Francisco so he can give him back his permission slip.”

Felix: “Well how exactly are you gonna do that?”

Wilbur: "I don’t know, Felix,"

Lila: "but we gotta work fast, there's no telling what sort of torture Principal Terwilliger's putting Connor through right now."

The scene cuts back to the Salt Lakes City Middle school lunch room.

[Record Scratches]

[Dolphin Dance Music Playing]

George Terwilliger: Ahoy, young sailor, can you do the dolphin dance? 1st you take your left flipper and you slap it on your pants, next you take your right flipper and you catch a little treat then you take your tail fin and you splash, splash, splash…..

[Record Goes Off]

George Terwilliger: "Noah, maybe you didn't hear me, it's time to do the Dolphin Dance."

Noah: "My old man doesn't believe in dolphins."

Connor: "Actually, Principal Terwilliger, I don't mind not dancing it off either."

George Terwilliger: "Nonsense, Connor, young kids your age really love the dolphin dance, now cheer up and dance it off."

[Record Scratches Again]

[Dolphin Dance Music Playing Again]

George Terwilliger: Ahoy, young sailor, can you do the dolphin dance? 1st you take your left flipper and you slap it on your pants, next you take your right…..

The scene cuts back to the town square fair.......

Francisco (voice message): "This is Francisco Garrison, I’m not in my office right now, so please leave a message after the beep."

[Beeping Sounds]

Wilbur: "Well,"

Lila: "it was worth a try.”

Brian: "It’s verifying that Uncle Francisco can't be reached by phone at his office might seem impossible."

Wilbur: "Wait just 1 single minute,"

Lila: "pigeons carry messages into the crime fighting field, I read about it in Ace Savvy comic magazine number 39, the time warp of Mr. Flame Head."

Felix: "But, you guys-"

Wilbur: "Just 1 single minute, you guys."

Wilbur (writing the message): Uncle Francisco, Connor forgot his permission slip.

Wilbur and Lila open the pigeon's cage and tie the message to the dove's feet.

Wilbur: "There,"

Lila: "that oughta do it."

Adam: "Yeah, but, you guys-"

Wilbur: "We know, Adam,"

Lila: "it's a crazy idea, but it just might work."

[Dove Chirping]

Daisy: "Actually, you guys, what Adam was trying to say that it wasn't a pigeon, it was a dove."

Wilbur: "A dove?"

Lila: "what kind of person would leave a dove outta its cage?"

The scene cuts back to the Salt Lakes City Middle school lunch room.....

Connor's checking his blue digital watch that says 12:58 PM

Noah: "It's getting late, isn't it? I told you those cousins and best friends for life of yours aren't coming back here any single minute now."

Connor: "Sure they're coming back here, at least I think they're coming back here."

Noah: "You were thinking about it a bit too much, Garrison, I was thinking about going to the town square fair too, but it's not gonna happen, so what's the deal?"

Connor: "You mean you actually wanna go to the town square fair if you really could?”

Noah: "Yeah, sure, of course-What the crud?!? hey, no fair!”

George Terwilliger (off screen): "Connor!"

George Terwilliger: "Will you quit yapping about the town square fair? it's bad enough I don't get to go without you reminding me."

George: "Principal Terwilliger? are you saying you like the town square fair too?"

George Terwilliger: "Of course I do, Connor, everybody likes the town square fair, but I gave up on going a couple of years ago 'cause every single year I'm staying here in this school to watch over you 2 left behinds, but you don't hear me complaining about it, so get over it and finish your statue bust of Theodore Roosevelt, it’s super fun and thrilling."

Meanwhile back at the town square fair…….

Joey Jr.: "Look, you guys,"

Julia: "it’s real nice that you're trying to help Connor."

Daisy: "Your plans have been intelligent indeed."

Brian: "Yeah right, making a mile run for the interstate in that green bumper car was a real hit."

Kathy: “Honestly, you guys, those ideas of yours, wild plans are also completely impossible, face the facts, there's nothing we can do about it."

Wilbur: “Oh gee, sorry, you guys,"

Lila: "we weren't thinking quite clearly,"

Wilbur: "here we are at the town square fair all 'cause of us, nobody’s having any fun and excitement, you guys should go enjoy yourselves."

Dean: "What about you guys?"

Wilbur: "Well, Dean,"

Lila: "this morning,"

Wilbur: "we promised Connor that we get him to the town square fair,"

Lila: "and we won't enjoy ourselves 'til we do so,"

Wilbur: "and I know just the young man who can help me out."

The sign reads James Invents the Telegraph.

Wilbur: "Wow, look at this, you guys,"

Lila: "an antique telegraph,"

Wilbur: "maybe we can use it to hook up with Uncle Francisco."

Jason: "Oh come on, you guys,"

Shelly: "I bet that thing hasn't even been used over 100 years."

Wilbur: "Come on, you guys,"

Lila: "it's Connor we're speaking about,"

Wilbur: "we gotta do something about it.”

Adam: "Wilbur, Lila, to contact Uncle Francisco at his work business using a telegraph,"

Daisy: "you need to construct a radio amplifier up to the signals to a communication satellite and hope that somehow the message received the proper translation."

Meanwhile.....

Adam: "Alright,"

Daisy: "we need some wires, lots of them,"

Adam: "and we need some aluminum foil,"

Daisy: "and something with a crate."

Jason: "Oh boy,"

Shelly: "here we go again."

Wilbur and Lila hand the wires over to Adam and Daisy and Adam and Daisy connect all of them.

Brian and Felix begin eating double cheeseburgers and give the wrappers to Adam and Daisy and Adam and Daisy connect it on the wires.

Wilbur and Lila get the triple A batteries outta their Zippo the Rodeo Clown flashlight, give them to Adam and Daisy and Adam and Daisy put them in the device.

Adam: "Well,"

Daisy: "here goes nothing."

[Signal Beeping]

Meanwhile at Francisco's work business........

Francisco: "What’s that? Francisco forgot his permission slip?"

Francsico goes back in his blue sports car and drives around in it.

Meanwhile back in the Salt Lakes City Middle school lunchroom.......

George Terwilliger (reading to Eugene and Wolfgang) Madame Jones was truly perplexed, once again, the csplit pea soup cans were missing from the cupboard, she suspected the innocent Lucas Albertson, but how could she be sure about it? so during bedtime, she declared to the entire orphanage.

Connor: [In Shock] "No way!"

Noah: [In Shock] "What the crud?!?"

Connor: [Angrily] "I don't care about what you say, my cousins and my best friends for life said they would try to get me to the town square fair, so I gotta believe they're trying, but if you don't like that, well, too bad for you!"

George Terwilliger: "Look, Connor, I admire your hopefulness, but the fact is, it's over, nobody's coming for you, Noah, me or anybody, we're the left behinds, boys and that's all she wrote."

George Terwilliger sees Francisco and walks around outside.

George Terwilliger: "Francisco, what a super big surprise."

Connor: "Dad, you finally made it!"

Francisco: "I sure did, Connor, here's your permission slip."

Connor: "Wow, Dad, thanks a bunch for returning my permission slip."

Francisco: "Anytime, Connor."

Noah realizes that he also forgot his permission slip.

Francisco: "What’s going on, Connor?"

Connor: "Dad, a true good friend or cousin never leaves another person behind, right> come on, Noah, let's go see the town square fair."

Noah: "My old man never gave me my permission slip."

Francisco: "Noah, we're gonna locate your father and he'll give you your permission slip."

Noah: "Alright!"

George Terwilliger: "Wait just 1 minute, I'm coming to the town square fair too!"

Back at the town square fair
Lola: “And that button here opens up a CD player.”

Edwin: “Wow,”

April: "super thrilling."

Noah: "I gotta hand it to you, Small Fry, you were absolutely right, that's 1 big ol' pig."

Fade to a black screen......