Episode 111: Bill Hader transcript

Prologue: The Guest Star's dressing room
Scooter: [Knocking On Door 5 Times] "(Guest Star's Name), oh, (Guest Star's Name), 27 2nds 'til curtain, Mr. (Guest Star's Last Name)."

Guest Star: "Thanks a bunch for telling me that, Scooter."

Scooter: "You're welcome, and by the way, it's Dr. Seuss week, so you're our director of our Green Eggs and Ham sketch number."

Cut to Kermit appearing right through The Super Muppet Telethon logo.........

Kermit: "It's The Super Muppet Telethon, with our very special guest star, Mr. Bill Hader, yaaaay!"

[The Super Muppet Telethon Theme Music In Background]

[Upbeat Music In Background]

Female Muppet Friends: It's time to play 

the music

it's time to light

the lights

it's time to meet 

the Muppets

on The Super Muppet Telethon

tonight

Male Muppet Friends: it's time to put

on make-up

it's time to 

dress up right

it's time to raise

the curtain

on The Super Muppet Telethon

tonight

Waldorf: why do we always come here

Statler: I guess we'll never know

Waldorf: it's like some kind of torture

Statler and Waldorf: to have to watch

the show

[Music Continues In Background]

Kermit: and now let's 

get things started

Miss Piggy: why don't you

get things started

Kermit and Muppet Friends: it's time to 

get things started

on the most sensational 

inspirational

celebrational

Muppet-ational

this is what we call

The Super Muppet Telethon.

Bubbles begin flying right outta Gonzo's bugle.