The Animals of Farthing Wood Outtakes (Season 1)

Transcript

 * Director: And Action!
 * Badger: Now Friends. Adder. And Fellow Woodlanders.
 * Owl: Do Get on With It!
 * Badger: You don't need me to Underli- (Burp)
 * Director: (Laughs)
 * Owl: I Do Not Get It! This is a First Outtake of All Time!
 * (Beeps)
 * Director: Action!
 * Owl: Well bless my soul. It's that Daft Toad. We thought you were gone for Good.
 * Toad: So have I. I was caught in a Jam Jar by a nasty boy. I've been traveling for months to- What!? Where Am I?
 * Director: Cut! That’s Good (2x)
 * (Beep)
 * Fox: As a community, we're all but finished here. Man and his machines have seen to that.
 * Toad: Don't talk to me about those machines! (4x)
 * Director: Cut!
 * (Beep)
 * Director: And! Action!
 * Toad: I know the Place that we could go to.
 * Owl: Who asked You?
 * Toad: It's a good Little Place, A Wonderful Place purposely build for animals like us.
 * Mole: Was is Really Toad?
 * Toad: It's called White Deer Park Mole. (Grabs Mole‘s Arm)
 * Mole: AAAUUGH!! (He Let Toad Go)
 * Director: Cut! That Was Good.
 * Mole: I’m Sorry, Toad, I‘m So Sorry
 * (Beep)
 * Director: Action!
 * Badger: Well Fox? What Do you Think?
 * Fox: Have we any alternative?
 * Badger: Quite. Then White Deer Park it is- (Whimpers)
 * Director: Everyone.
 * Badger: Uh....... Not To Mention my Line.
 * (Beep)
 * Director: Ready! Set! Action!
 * Badger: (reading out the Oath Of Mutual Protection) Repeat after me. I do solemly swear not to swallow or otherwise consume anybody...
 * Adder: (whispering) Except when nobody's looking!
 * Badger: ...While en route to this-
 * Pooh: Hello! (Holds Clapboard Upside Down)
 * Director: Pooh, What Are You Doing Here!?
 * (Beep)
 * Director: Action.
 * Mr Pheasant: It's a nightmare!
 * Mrs Pheasant: Yes dear.
 * Mr Pheasant: I mean, how would they like it if they were being hunted- (Coughs)
 * Director: What You Think You Missed The Line?
 * (Beep)
 * Director: Go!
 * Baby Newt: (wails) Water!
 * Owl: Is seems that some of us can scarcely put one foot in front of the other. The newts won't last the night.
 * Fox: Only you can find water in the dark Owl.
 * Owl: True. I shall fly ahead. Rely on me! (She Return from Nodding Head)
 * Director: Okay, Owl, That’s Too Much For You.
 * (Beep)
 * Director: My One! Set! Action!
 * Mole: (about riding on Badger) I feel so guilty riding along like this, while everyone else is so tired and I'm not helping at all.
 * Badger: You're more help where you are than you would be on the- (Sneezes)
 * Director: That’s So Gross! (Laughs)
 * Badger: Sorry.
 * (Beep)
 * Director: Action.
 * Mr. Pheasant: It's a pheasant shoot!
 * Mrs. Pheasant: For once, I have to admit you're right, dear- (Then, The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh Theme Came Up) What The?!
 * (Beep)
 * Director: And Action.
 * Badger: Well, at least we're all back together now.
 * Mole: [tearful] But we're not. Where are the Newts?
 * Badger: [comforting] Don't ask. There's a good chap. (Lastly Obsession Appearance With Farting and Hiccuping)
 * Mole: Okay, Will You Stop Please?
 * Badger: (Laughs as He Fainted)
 * (Beep Beep)
 * Director: Action.
 * Toad: Where's Owl?
 * Badger: If she's got any sense at all she'll be tucked up nice and snug underground.
 * Toad: OWL?
 * Badger: Well, under a bush then. Whatev- (Farts)
 * Toad: (Coughs)
 * Director: Cut, What Did You Done To Toad?
 * Badger: I Was Sorry Where I Talked To Him.
 * (Beep)
 * Director: Action.
 * Badger: Oh... NO! (Burp)
 * Director: Again?!
 * (Beep)
 * Badger: I can't see what's happening.
 * Weasel: The Rabbits are panicking and swimming round in circles in the middle of the river!
 * Badger: Grrr. Those rabbits. Even with one your problems are multiplied (Ends Up With ALF Theme Playing) What’s Going On With This 80s!? Huh?!
 * (Beep)
 * Director: Action!
 * (Badger and Fox Swept Away Into Waterfall After That, Turns To Be Pooh, Tigger, Piglet and Eeyore as The Pirates In The Boat from Rabbit Marks The Spot, After That)
 * Owl: I'm afraid we'll have to accept that Badger and Fox are dead.
 * Tigger: The Piratey Ship!
 * (Beep)
 * Director: Take Care of You, Woodlanders! Action.
 * Owl: Badger as leader? Huh!
 * Adder: Too ssslow and ssstupid.
 * Owl: A bird would be more suitable.
 * Adder: You mean... Kestrel?
 * Owl: Kestrel? Oh no no. (The Dialogue of Oliver is Heard) What!? It’s Oliver!
 * (Beep)
 * Mr Hare: Badger... we should run!
 * Badger: No. Remember the oath. We must all stand together (Slips Off The Hill) Ow! (Gets HIt With a Rock)
 * Mr Hare: Are You Okay, Badger?
 * (Beep)
 * Director: Action....
 * Vixen: I know what you did... heading them off.
 * Fox: I couldn't bear to think of you... and those hounds.
 * Vixen: You risked your life for me.
 * Fox: Were you... were you on your way back to me?
 * Vixen: Yes.
 * Fox: Does that mean... (He Gets Giggled with Burst of Mallet)
 * Director: Come On, We Just Brought You From Local Library. Huh?
 * (Beep)
 * Director: And Action!
 * Badger: Oh Moley! If only your tears weren't salty, none of us would ever be thirsty again! (With Flushed Giggle and Gagging Himself)
 * Mole: What The-
 * (Beep)
 * Director: Go! (Beep)
 * Badger: HOW DARE YOU! After all Fox has done for us! Why he could have stayed with Vixen and left us to our fate but he came back didn't he? And why? Because we animals stick together. (Growling Without Submission and Knocks the Camera Down)
 * Director: Whoa! (The Camera Breaks)
 * (Beep)
 * Director: And Action.
 * Mrs Hedgehog: Come on, dear!
 * Mr Hedgehog: I... I... I can't!
 * Mrs Hedgehog: Please...
 * Mr Hedgehog: Don't...curl up...
 * Mrs Hedgehog: Please!
 * Mr Hedgehog: Whatever you do...dearest...don't...curl up!
 * Mrs Hedgehog: Oh no!
 * (The Lorry Came Up But The Wallace and Gromit Was Spotted By Instead)
 * Wallace: Cracking Cheese!
 * (Beep)
 * Director: Action.
 * Owl: You are standing on poisoned land. It's in the ground we walk on, the air we breathe, and the plants which seem so luscious are probably deadly!
 * Weasel: AAAGH!
 * Mr Rabbit: But.. but how?
 * Owl: It was done deliberately.
 * (The Laugh Track Plays)
 * Owl: Not The Sitcom!
 * (Camera Falls Out of Owl)
 * (Beep)
 * Director: Action!
 * Mrs Vole: I know just how you feel.
 * Owl: What?
 * Mrs Vole: It's not easy being deaf.
 * Owl: What are you talking about?
 * Director: Okay! That’s Just Another Question?
 * (Beep)
 * Director: And! Action.
 * Badger: Just.. Let Me.. Sit Down (As He Sits Down as Mole Came Up)
 * Director: Ready?
 * Badger: (Farts) Ahh...
 * Director: (Laughs)
 * Badger: The Fine!
 * (Beep)
 * Director: Action!
 * Badger: What are we going to do about Weasel?
 * Owl: Leave her! I would.
 * Weasel: (slurs) Can't go without Weasel! You know Badger, you've been like a father to me, you have! I've always looked onto you with the highest... (Burp)
 * Director: You Mean The Hiccups?
 * Weasel: I’m Sorry, Elphin, Just Give Up.
 * (Beep)
 * Director: Action!
 * Mr Vole: I don't know Mother. Now we are nearly there I feel almost sad.
 * Mrs Vole: Sad? Huh! I'm looking forward to being a vole again, I don't know about you! But I know what you mean son. And take comfort in your dreams will never be the dreams of an ordinary vole, never again. Your dreams will be different till the day you die, and so will mine, for I am proud to be a Farthing Wood traveller. And as for that Oath we made- (The Faint of Music Plays) Okay! Why’s The Music Playing?
 * Mr Vole: I Know I Know.
 * (Beep)
 * Director: Set! Go!
 * White Stag: (To Toad) To have made this journey once is remarkable. To have done it twice is extraordinary. News of your coming reached us long ago.
 * Badger: We are so glad to be here. And it's all thanks to Fox. We'd never have done it without him.
 * Fox: I only wish... (Then, Badger Looked at Him, He Giggled Twice) You’re Funny, Badger.
 * (Beep)
 * Director: Last! Good Take! Action!
 * White Stag: Welcome to White Deer Park.
 * Director: You Got It! Stag! You Got It!
 * (Beep, End of Outtake)